Jeremiah 31:31-34 says… “Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah— 32 not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the LORD. 33 But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 34 No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” (NKJV)
These verses from Jeremiah speak of a new covenant which God will make with his people. The old covenant had been broken repeatedly. The rules of the old covenant were the laws that He gave them through Moses. This is referring to the Hebrew nation of Old Testament times. Historical context is important in order for us to understand what God did and what His intentions were towards His creation.
Verse 33 uses the words after those days. What days? The days after the redeemer would walk the earth and fulfill what He came to do. This redeemer was Jesus Christ. A new covenant was brought into existence through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus.
This new covenant is not like the old one. He no longer leads us by the hand. It is not an external relationship. In the new covenant it has become an internal relationship with a living God. He lives inside of us. He has put His law in our minds and written it on our hearts.
to be continued...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Retrospection… part 4
This writing is preceded by three posts which can be read...
part 1
part 2
part 3
During this period of seeking, one Bible verse consistently showed up. Galatians 2:20: “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
What is being “crucified with Christ” supposed to look like and yet still be alive? What does this mean? My seeking continued to take me to places where grace was talked about. What is this grace? Unmerited favor is the definition I was familiar with. I came to understand that favor with God means that He is pleased with me. There is nothing I can do to enhance or destroy the way God sees me. Doesn’t sin disqualify me from it? Is my sin stronger than Jesus and what He accomplished at the Cross? No, I think not. We cannot undo what Jesus did. It’s that simple. He paid the ransom price one time for all people. This spells FREEDOM!
Falling from grace, according to the Bible, can happen. It happens when we think we can gain God’s favor by what we do or don’t do. If we think our deeds or attitudes can separate us from or join us to God, we nullify grace. We say that the power of the blood of Jesus is not strong enough to overcome our works of self righteousness. The reality, however, is that the blood of Jesus is not only strong enough to overcome our deeds, but He did it for the whole world without anyone's permission.
One of the first things that clicked in my understanding was that my dependence was to be on Him, not myself. Dependence on myself created self-righteousness. This created expectations of others. I expected the church people to act differently. I placed expectations on them that God never did. After realizing that those expectations were wrong, I released them. Almost overnight, the anxiety that I had been experiencing stopped.
The disillusionment that I experienced was only possible because I had an illusion. My understanding of how God saw me was an illusion. I thought His judgment was still around the corner. I thought that Old Covenant principles still applied to today. (I didn’t really believe this, if you would have asked me. But I lived it regardless.) The Cross of Christ brought in a New Covenant. The belief system I had a year ago, has been mostly overthrown and replaced by grace and peace. It’s not even a system anymore. The religious life I had before has been replaced by a real life. A life that doesn’t bury me alive. A life that allows for my humanity. A life that I believe God intended me to live.
part 1
part 2
part 3
During this period of seeking, one Bible verse consistently showed up. Galatians 2:20: “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
What is being “crucified with Christ” supposed to look like and yet still be alive? What does this mean? My seeking continued to take me to places where grace was talked about. What is this grace? Unmerited favor is the definition I was familiar with. I came to understand that favor with God means that He is pleased with me. There is nothing I can do to enhance or destroy the way God sees me. Doesn’t sin disqualify me from it? Is my sin stronger than Jesus and what He accomplished at the Cross? No, I think not. We cannot undo what Jesus did. It’s that simple. He paid the ransom price one time for all people. This spells FREEDOM!
Falling from grace, according to the Bible, can happen. It happens when we think we can gain God’s favor by what we do or don’t do. If we think our deeds or attitudes can separate us from or join us to God, we nullify grace. We say that the power of the blood of Jesus is not strong enough to overcome our works of self righteousness. The reality, however, is that the blood of Jesus is not only strong enough to overcome our deeds, but He did it for the whole world without anyone's permission.
One of the first things that clicked in my understanding was that my dependence was to be on Him, not myself. Dependence on myself created self-righteousness. This created expectations of others. I expected the church people to act differently. I placed expectations on them that God never did. After realizing that those expectations were wrong, I released them. Almost overnight, the anxiety that I had been experiencing stopped.
The disillusionment that I experienced was only possible because I had an illusion. My understanding of how God saw me was an illusion. I thought His judgment was still around the corner. I thought that Old Covenant principles still applied to today. (I didn’t really believe this, if you would have asked me. But I lived it regardless.) The Cross of Christ brought in a New Covenant. The belief system I had a year ago, has been mostly overthrown and replaced by grace and peace. It’s not even a system anymore. The religious life I had before has been replaced by a real life. A life that doesn’t bury me alive. A life that allows for my humanity. A life that I believe God intended me to live.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Retrospection… part 3
This writing is preceded by two other posts which can be read here (part 1) and here (part 2).
Through all this God was working to restore us to Himself. The primary reason I would give at the time for leaving was that I wanted to recover our spiritual lives, whatever that meant. Feeling disconnected from God and not understanding why, it seemed that the church we were in was not going to be a solution for us. Not understanding the emotions inside, we found ourselves leaving Sunday morning services in worse shape than when we went in. The decision to leave did not come easy. We simply left. No explanation to anyone.
Not characteristic of us, this manner of departure demonstrated our lack of strength. The emotional battles we had fought for 20 months had taken their toll. This was not a battle I was going to fight. I didn’t care about solving any of these problems anymore. I had no faith that they were solvable. “Get me out of here, it hurts!” was my general standing.
We visited six or seven churches for about 6 months. To our astonishment we found that each was basically the same as the others including the one we had initially left. Every church seemed to have the same basic format and connecting with people was difficult. Nothing meshed.
It was toward the end of this six month period that I found a book online entitled So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore? written by Wayne Jacobsen. It sparked something inside of me. I read it to my husband. We gave ourselves permission to stop trying to find a church. At first it was difficult. Perhaps more for my husband than me. For quite some time I had been disenchanted with church. New ideas had sprung to life and I felt God stirring things up.
I listened to Wayne's online series entitled Transitions. I read his book entitled He Loves Me. Feeling God's love was foreign. I knew in my mind that He loved me, but I wanted to sense Him. After reading He Loves Me (twice), I decided to ask God to show me His love everyday in whatever way He wanted.
My heart began changing. I was waiting for Him to make the moves. I did not try to create anything. I simply waited for Him. Things that I was doing seemed to be connected. The journey on which I had embarked to find God began producing fruit.
Through all this God was working to restore us to Himself. The primary reason I would give at the time for leaving was that I wanted to recover our spiritual lives, whatever that meant. Feeling disconnected from God and not understanding why, it seemed that the church we were in was not going to be a solution for us. Not understanding the emotions inside, we found ourselves leaving Sunday morning services in worse shape than when we went in. The decision to leave did not come easy. We simply left. No explanation to anyone.
Not characteristic of us, this manner of departure demonstrated our lack of strength. The emotional battles we had fought for 20 months had taken their toll. This was not a battle I was going to fight. I didn’t care about solving any of these problems anymore. I had no faith that they were solvable. “Get me out of here, it hurts!” was my general standing.
We visited six or seven churches for about 6 months. To our astonishment we found that each was basically the same as the others including the one we had initially left. Every church seemed to have the same basic format and connecting with people was difficult. Nothing meshed.
It was toward the end of this six month period that I found a book online entitled So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore? written by Wayne Jacobsen. It sparked something inside of me. I read it to my husband. We gave ourselves permission to stop trying to find a church. At first it was difficult. Perhaps more for my husband than me. For quite some time I had been disenchanted with church. New ideas had sprung to life and I felt God stirring things up.
I listened to Wayne's online series entitled Transitions. I read his book entitled He Loves Me. Feeling God's love was foreign. I knew in my mind that He loved me, but I wanted to sense Him. After reading He Loves Me (twice), I decided to ask God to show me His love everyday in whatever way He wanted.
My heart began changing. I was waiting for Him to make the moves. I did not try to create anything. I simply waited for Him. Things that I was doing seemed to be connected. The journey on which I had embarked to find God began producing fruit.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Retrospection… part 2
part 1 is here
Where was God in all this? This was His Church, right? This isn’t supposed to happen in church! Then I thought why the heck were we so open in the first place with our problems. If we had just kept everything to ourselves and not told a soul we’d be better off, I thought. But that went against the grain of the route we had taken to restore our marriage. Complete openness and honesty was a key in our restoration. Why would being open and honest with God’s people cause such a backlash against us?
It has taken quite a bit of time and analysis to try to figure out the answer to this question and others. To date this is what I figure. My husband and I have a relationship. We love each other. We loved each other before all our problems surfaced. We turned towards each other and grabbed hold of our life again and were able to build a stronger relationship than ever before.
These elements were not present in our relationship with the church. Quite frankly, I don’t even think it is possible to have a relationship with a church. Think about it. A church… what is it? A building? A group of people that know each other simply by what day of the week the calendar says it is? Or by what kind of doctrine the church ascribes to? We were amiable with many people but we didn’t have deep loving relationships. The deepest we ever went with anyone was when we started telling our story to some of the couples.
We were told early on that others did not need to know our struggles, but it didn’t take long before we found ourselves feeling isolated. I thought we needed to talk to someone. Resources that I had read indicated that openness and honesty was the best policy for recovery. After being encouraged on several fronts to talk, we did. It seemed like the right thing to do. Our thinking was that by being open and honest it would help others to do the same. If we could have problems of this sort, certainly others were having similar issues. We might be able to help avert other disasters. “If this can happen to us, it can happen to anyone.”
It was not clear in my mind who was to be trusted and who was not. I know now that we put ourselves in an extremely vulnerable position. I was never certain that our openness was the right approach. I knew it was a risk. I also knew that forgiving was risky but it was paying off in my marriage. Helping others would be worth it I thought.
Because of the gossip and the feelings of isolation and shunning (whether this was intended or not, it was real to us), we slowly became disillusioned with the whole process. Without resolution we left the church that we had attended for 12 years.
Where was God in all this? This was His Church, right? This isn’t supposed to happen in church! Then I thought why the heck were we so open in the first place with our problems. If we had just kept everything to ourselves and not told a soul we’d be better off, I thought. But that went against the grain of the route we had taken to restore our marriage. Complete openness and honesty was a key in our restoration. Why would being open and honest with God’s people cause such a backlash against us?
It has taken quite a bit of time and analysis to try to figure out the answer to this question and others. To date this is what I figure. My husband and I have a relationship. We love each other. We loved each other before all our problems surfaced. We turned towards each other and grabbed hold of our life again and were able to build a stronger relationship than ever before.
These elements were not present in our relationship with the church. Quite frankly, I don’t even think it is possible to have a relationship with a church. Think about it. A church… what is it? A building? A group of people that know each other simply by what day of the week the calendar says it is? Or by what kind of doctrine the church ascribes to? We were amiable with many people but we didn’t have deep loving relationships. The deepest we ever went with anyone was when we started telling our story to some of the couples.
We were told early on that others did not need to know our struggles, but it didn’t take long before we found ourselves feeling isolated. I thought we needed to talk to someone. Resources that I had read indicated that openness and honesty was the best policy for recovery. After being encouraged on several fronts to talk, we did. It seemed like the right thing to do. Our thinking was that by being open and honest it would help others to do the same. If we could have problems of this sort, certainly others were having similar issues. We might be able to help avert other disasters. “If this can happen to us, it can happen to anyone.”
It was not clear in my mind who was to be trusted and who was not. I know now that we put ourselves in an extremely vulnerable position. I was never certain that our openness was the right approach. I knew it was a risk. I also knew that forgiving was risky but it was paying off in my marriage. Helping others would be worth it I thought.
Because of the gossip and the feelings of isolation and shunning (whether this was intended or not, it was real to us), we slowly became disillusioned with the whole process. Without resolution we left the church that we had attended for 12 years.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Retrospection… part 1
I started this blog last December 2007 hoping to capture some of my journey and put it in a form that might be productive to not only me but others. The learning process is fluid. Much has happened in the last two months which has helped me understand more clearly still what took place. These next four posts are a synopsis of my journey to date. These won’t conclude my writing on this issue but I do want to scale back and begin looking at other subjects. So this is the first of four…
My foundations were destroyed 3 years ago. I tried to find stability in my faith as I understood it at that time. My husband and I continued going to church and tried to make sense of the problems we had encountered in our marriage. We found resources online that sent us in the right direction as far as our marriage was concerned. However, the disillusionment that we experienced regarding the church and the lack of support that we thought should be present bothered us. Where was God in all this? Why didn't this work the way we thought it was supposed to? We were both at a loss in understanding what was happening.
I expected a certain outcome and didn’t get it. Should those in charge have helped in a more hands on manner? Perhaps. I don’t really know. I suspect that I would have reacted in a similar manner if someone else‘s house had collapsed and I was in their same position. I knew that logically I had no grounds to judge anyone else unless I was willing to judge myself in the same manner.
The puzzling thing to me was that the stuff my husband and I dealt with in our marriage had hurt me much worse than what the church people had done or not done. Why was I having difficulty getting past the seeming non-caring approach of the church? Was I just bitter and angry? I know what that looks and feels like. This was not that. Anxiety plagued me on a daily basis. My husband and I had been very open and honest with a number of people at the church with regards to our marriage issues. When we started hearing that our story was being told by people whom we had never talked to… well, the anxiety escalated to new levels. The presence of gossip caused a myriad of negative emotions inside my mind and heart. I did not feel “safe” going to church. The church that I thought would and should be a place of healing became a place I did not want to be.
My foundations were destroyed 3 years ago. I tried to find stability in my faith as I understood it at that time. My husband and I continued going to church and tried to make sense of the problems we had encountered in our marriage. We found resources online that sent us in the right direction as far as our marriage was concerned. However, the disillusionment that we experienced regarding the church and the lack of support that we thought should be present bothered us. Where was God in all this? Why didn't this work the way we thought it was supposed to? We were both at a loss in understanding what was happening.
I expected a certain outcome and didn’t get it. Should those in charge have helped in a more hands on manner? Perhaps. I don’t really know. I suspect that I would have reacted in a similar manner if someone else‘s house had collapsed and I was in their same position. I knew that logically I had no grounds to judge anyone else unless I was willing to judge myself in the same manner.
The puzzling thing to me was that the stuff my husband and I dealt with in our marriage had hurt me much worse than what the church people had done or not done. Why was I having difficulty getting past the seeming non-caring approach of the church? Was I just bitter and angry? I know what that looks and feels like. This was not that. Anxiety plagued me on a daily basis. My husband and I had been very open and honest with a number of people at the church with regards to our marriage issues. When we started hearing that our story was being told by people whom we had never talked to… well, the anxiety escalated to new levels. The presence of gossip caused a myriad of negative emotions inside my mind and heart. I did not feel “safe” going to church. The church that I thought would and should be a place of healing became a place I did not want to be.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Why do we shoot the wounded?
First, they are no longer useful. The mess they’ve caused in their life as well as others' has marked them. The mark of humanity on them is not valuable when the façade of having all the answers is needed. If the church system is teaching you that your behavior is of utmost importance to your “walk”, the failed, wounded person is not valuable. Their failure reflects on the system. The production of moral people is more important than attending to the hurts of failed ones. Push the failures out of the way and get on with the pretense of success. How else will we get other moralists to support the system.
The second reason we shoot our wounded is that the resources needed to restore them are not available. We don’t know what to do. We see the pain and that makes us feel uneasy. So we do nothing. The wounded either get sicker, die, or, by God’s grace, are able to find a solution on their own.
Thirdly, we judge them. We believe that they shouldn’t have done what they did and therefore they don’t deserve our time or commitment to help. We are put out by their behavior. “How could you?” “You make us all look bad.” “You were supposed to know better.” “Don’t get close to me. I might catch whatever it is that caused you to do such a thing.”
I believe that these three reasons are cultured in the church system of today. For the system to survive, soul care cannot take a prominent position. It takes too much valuable time to tend to the hurts and pains of souls. The programs need to continue.
You can't just go around being human, you know. What do we do with our humanness? In a moralist society we suppress it and tell others to do the same. This produces liars and experts at denial. Denial produces mental instability. There’s got to be a better way!
The second reason we shoot our wounded is that the resources needed to restore them are not available. We don’t know what to do. We see the pain and that makes us feel uneasy. So we do nothing. The wounded either get sicker, die, or, by God’s grace, are able to find a solution on their own.
Thirdly, we judge them. We believe that they shouldn’t have done what they did and therefore they don’t deserve our time or commitment to help. We are put out by their behavior. “How could you?” “You make us all look bad.” “You were supposed to know better.” “Don’t get close to me. I might catch whatever it is that caused you to do such a thing.”
I believe that these three reasons are cultured in the church system of today. For the system to survive, soul care cannot take a prominent position. It takes too much valuable time to tend to the hurts and pains of souls. The programs need to continue.
You can't just go around being human, you know. What do we do with our humanness? In a moralist society we suppress it and tell others to do the same. This produces liars and experts at denial. Denial produces mental instability. There’s got to be a better way!
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