Expectation vs Expectancy

Religion produces expectation
Relationship produces expectancy

Years of my life were spent in a religious system that taught me to expect certain results from God according to my behavior. It was never said in a way that made me think I was manipulating God, but that is what resulted. I never thought "hmmm, I'm going to manipulate God today to get such and such". If it was that obvious I'd have seen it. It was much more subtle.

In my heart and mind, performance created acceptance from God. I walked believing that my actions made me right with God. What I did in the institutional church made me acceptable to God and His people. Well, maybe it was true regarding His people, but it is not so with God.

Ephesians 1:6 says... “to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.” He freely has bestowed grace on us and accepts us "in the beloved" because we are in Christ, not because of any works we produce.

By thinking that I needed to do things to be accepted, I felt obligated to perform. This created a false security in my relationship with God. Because I seemingly did all the right things (such as attended church, raised my children in church, did tasks in church in order to "do my part", and did not cause waves by openly disagreeing with how church happens, etc).... I followed the rules.

The expectation that I was somehow "protected" from bad things happening to me or my family proved to be a false belief system which collapsed in on top of me. When my marriage became threatened by forces I could not control, my life disintegrated before my eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen to people who were sincerely serving God. To say I was disillusioned at that point would be an understatement.

False beliefs do not produce intimacy with God. Jesus said He was The Truth. Believing lies about God produced in me a complacency that grew over years. It did the same in my husband. When we crashed and burned, we were set on a course by God that was meant for us to recover His heart and love. A living relationship with Him.

I’m now beginning to learn to live in expectancy. What new truth does He have for me? What new understanding does He have for me to know He’s working inside of me, that He’s renewing my mind daily and teaching me that His Way far exceeds my way.

Freedom in the Spirit has never been more real. Freedom to be who He made me to be. If He lives inside me, which I believe He does, then He is able to live His life through me. That creates expectancy. The future is not regulated and dictated. I believe He wants me to live in His faith and move forward. Releasing my expectations of how life should be has freed me to live. Every day is new.